we made it this far

Just wanted to point out to everyone that when I was pregnant with Axel, my water would have broken TONIGHT. (Exactly one month from his actual due date) Click here if you want to read about my fabulous delivery with him. (I am not kidding either, his delivery actually makes me want to go into labor every day, I loved it, and it was probably the best part of my pregnancy but also the most feared prior.)
I thought for sure this time around I would be all stoked to go into labor again, but if one thing this pregnancy has taught me, it's that this baby is NOTHING like her brother, she wanted me to know that from the get go and I better be prepared.

This scares me. I am sure it's all in my head, I don't know why I automatically assume that "different" is worse. But I do. So I am trying to have the attitude that anything could happen. Maybe it's so I wont be uber disappointed when she comes much later than he does...I mean everyone else has to pull the whole 40 week thing so why should I be any different?

However as I am thinking about it, there have been a lot "different" that is better with her too. I can't imagine at this point my delivery being any better, but I am hoping that maybe this time we wont have a baby in the NICU, and that I will get to nurse her right away. That's what I am shooting for. I know it seems silly, but I want to have that moment where I get to hold her right after, and I am totally going to set up a camcorder this time. I kinda felt jipped I didn't get to see what happened with Axel. Maybe it was better that way so I would commit to doing it again, but still I feel like I missed the party you know? (And yes the delivery room when I give birth is ALWAYS a party :) I mean really some of Kory's best jokes where that night :) )

Another different that is better, is I am all packed and ready to go, her clothes are washed and put away, and tonight I will work on getting her bed up and ready. (This is mostly so I have a place for Gauge to nap, but it is also a good time to do it and get it done). I have to still pick up a few minor essentials (aka a double stroller, and a video monitor) but it's not like her car seat is still in the box, along with all her other stuff (with Axel it was). I am feeling a lot more prepared this time. Instead of having to go through everything and put everything together and try to find all the stuff, everything already has a place, and we can just come home and relax and enjoy all the free meals and help from everyone. :)

Being a 2nd time parent means:

I know that if her billi levels are too high, I know exactly what to expect and where to go.

I know to make sure our Dr. double checks her hips to make sure they are fully developed.
I know that if I am having a hard time getting her to latch on I can whip out a nipple shield and eventually she will wean herself off of it when things slow down. (Don't judge me all you Le Letche League ladies, if it wasn't for that gem of a gem, I wouldn't have been able to nurse with Axel, so I stick out my tongue to you...)

I know that just when I get used to her sleep schedule she will go and change it on me, and that the first year is all about adjusting.

I know that when other's are sick around her it is better to be safe than sorry, but we may not have to go out and buy every bottle of anti bacterial soap in the land.

I know that it is OK to skip Church for 3 months, and I shouldn't feel guilty for doing so.

I know that some days she will sleep A LOT and then some days she will eat A LOT, and I just have to let her be the one to decide, and it doesn't mean my milk is drying up.

I know all sorts of tricks to keep her happy in tummy time.

I know to NEVER put her in something I bought at a garage sale, even if it looks safe.

I know that I am not the most perfect mom, but I am the most perfect mamma for her, and that is all that matters.

Here's to hoping we can keep her in a little bit longer...