1 year down

Today my baby boy turned 1.

I still can't believe it.

Today, when a lifeguard at the pool asked me how old he was, it kinda spun my world around,

I hesitated and sort of shouted it like holy crap! " He's one!". I think the kid thought I was a little over excited about it, but one day he'll have a kid and know what it is I am talking about.

I still can't believe that a year ago in the middle of the night my water broke a month earlier than anticipated. He has been keeping me on my toes ever since.

Just to sum up what he has been accomplishing lately (its been a while)

At about 10 months he started talking up a storm (remember ball?) Well now he can say

Ball, Balloon, Bath, mmm, ah oh, mama, dad, yeah, bumble bee & ouch (with the actions) bubbles, please (including hand motion) , gog (dog) arrr arr arr (dog), ahhhh ahhh (seagull or any other animal), and of course pablo.

I know there are more, but those are the ones I can think of right now.

He also has 5 teeth with a 6 almost there. (two top, 4 bottom)

He is also a pro at eating with a fork.
He has accomplished climbing stairs
He is an expert weeder
He can blow bubbles in the water on command.
He knows that when dad comes home we get to go outside and play catch with the dogs.

There are a lot of things I want to say, and I have a lot of emotion right now...

Being a mom has been the BIGGEST contradiction of my life...

It has been the hardest, yet the easiest thing I have ever done.

Not getting very much sleep was hard.

However, being able to wake up to nurse, cuddle and rock my baby back to sleep was EASY.

This was something I was completely shocked about. I never anticipated that I would be the one waking up, practically jumping out of bed, at every noise, whimper or cry that came from his direction. Before he was born we always joked about how Kory would be the one to get up with him, because he was up anyway and I was such a heavy sleeper.

But that all changed the day he was born. Kory FINALLY slept through the night and I gained insomnia. But I wouldn't trade places in a million years. Some of my favorite moments were when I would rock my baby in the moon light, singing him my favorite lullabies, and listening to his soft breathing.

With being a mom comes very little praise, but is so rewarding and fulfilling.

I remember when Kory went back to work and would come home and I would just go on and on about my day. I think it overwhelmed him how much attention and praise I demanded he give me. Babies can't thank you for changing their diapers, preparing their meals, or making sure they have clean clothes. That was hard.

However, the work of a mother is far more rewarding and fulfilling than any job I have ever done. (and I have had quite a few)

I wont ever forget the day I went and picked up Axel from his crib after a nap and he wrapped his chubby arms around my arms, rested his head on my shoulder and patted my back with his little hand. It melted my heart!

It is the "mommy" moments like that, that are reward enough. And I wouldn't have traded that for anything.

Being a mom brings lots of tears, but also lots of laughter.

I remember the first time someone said something critical about my son, and I went home and just cried and cried to Kory. This person probably didn't mean to hurt my feelings but it so did, and I can not even really describe the mama bear anger that surfaced. It was instinctual, something I couldn't control.

But not only have I cried over things like that, I also would cry more when he would do something cute or clever or quirky, and I would laugh so hard I would cry, and he would laugh so hard he would puke.

When you become a mom, alone time is pretty unheard of, but should one of those moments come into your day, you treasure it, but also find yourself missing your little one.

At night, when we put him to bed, I am so glad to finally have a minute to myself ie pick up his toys, do the dishes, fold the laundry, but at the same time, I find myself missing him, and can't wait until he wakes up so I can see him again.

I LOVE being Axel's mommy. I don't think I can say that enough. Have you ever read the book "You are my I love you?" the first time I read that book, I felt like it described my relationship with him to a T. My mom got it for him for his Birthday (somehow she just knew :) ) Anyway the other day we were reading it before nap time, and at the end it says "You are my goodnight kiss" and I made a kiss sound and Axel looked at me and then at the picture of the bear mom giving her cub a kiss and joined in on the kiss. :) it was too cute. That's my boy.

More to come...his fabulous Birthday!