Have you ever sat across from someone and felt how intense their pain was that you started to feel bad for your own happiness or rather your unhappiness with all you are blessed with?
Well yesterday that was me.
I had the opportunity to go on visits in my neighborhood with the Relief Society President in my ward. At first I really didn't want to go I had "so much to do" that I was somewhat inconvenienced by it all.
But then we went to the first sisters home, and can I just tell you, I went home feeling not only so incredibly sad for her but also so incredibly ungrateful for all my blessings. Litterally it hit me hard.
Have you ever felt that way?
My heart literally broke into a million pieces as I listened to this sister retell her life story to me and the Relief Society President. I wont go into detail about what is going on or rather what has gone on in her life, but her load is heavier than anything I have had to bare. And it is very sad.
When I left her home my heart ached, I started to brainstorm ways I could "fix" her. (as that is what I do, I am a fixer) but then I felt this strong prompting, that I am not in this calling to fix her, but she is here to fix me. That I have a lot to learn from her about life and circumstances. That some things are not in our control, but somethings are. Her life circumstances are not something she can change, but her attitude is.
That is where I am getting at with this. Attitude is everything. How we handle situations in our life is all on us. Sure we are going to be given "trials" that are completely out of our control, but do we allow those trials to dictate how we feel about ourselves, the savior, or our heavenly father? That is the test. That is where we really have to decide where we stand. I know easier said then done right?
Kory and I got into a discussion afterward that had me thinking. He said, "Do you ever wonder why we are so blessed? Why it is that we get all that we do?" And I really don't have an answer to this, because I really don't know why. Why is that some people have to endure all the things they do, and why some people don't you know? I guess we all have trials to endure, but have you ever read something or met someone and said to yourself afterward "I could NEVER go through that?"
But what I do know is that the Lord didn't want me to visit this sister yesterday for her sake, he wanted me to visit her for my own. He knew I needed to be taught something.
I really don't know if I made it clear on what I was trying to say. Take it for what its worth I guess.