Baby Zeke

It all began a week before Halloween... Kory had a business trip and we debated back and forth with doctors and each other whether it was a good idea or not. We knew there was a slight chance I could go into labor, since the trip was in my 37th week of pregnancy. But after a couple check ups and only progressing a little we felt confident that labor was farther away.

So after going to the Anderson Halloween Party and killing it with our costumes that I spent all my free time on for the past few weeks, we said goodbye to Kory for 6 whole days!

Dani in her Tangled Costume~frying pan and all :) 

Axel's PRIZE winning Lloyd (Lord) Vampire costume, designed by the little vampire himself. Every detail was thought out and executed to his perfection.

They were a tad bit weirded out by the all the Halloween hoopla, but warmed up eventually and had great fun for the little time we were there.

Now, Kory has gone on A LOT of business trips since we've been married, but never before this one have I ever driven away in tears. It was hard to see him go. I was filled with so much anxiety and fear that I would be doing the labor thing alone, mixed with hormones, that I couldn't help but break down and cry. 

The next week was a blur, filled with "normal day things" for me and the kids, and LONG hours for Kory on his trip. We pretty much went the whole week without really talking longer than 15 minutes. 

At my last doctors apt, my Dr. confirmed that I had made little progress this week towards labor from last week and that if she had to guess I wouldn't be having this baby this week. (HA) 

Her telling me that put me at ease, and I had decided that we were going to make it. That this baby would in fact be born past his 38 week mark! (HA again!)  

I should have figured though when I suddenly had the "urge" to stay up and spend all my energy making things for him into the wee hours of the night that I was in fact nesting, you don't go from being completely drained to wanting to stay up all night. 

People joke that it isn't really a thing, but for me it is. For each of my pregnancies it has been different and at different points in the process. I just thought I was really motivated because the things I made for him, were just super cute. :) RED FLAG 1

After 6 long days with out Kory, Halloween was here!

Here are the kids posing it up, for our traditional Halloween Costume photo shoot before we visited Grandma at work and took Axel to preschool.

Trick or treating with our Favorite people down Center street. This was fantastic, the kids got some pretty good loot too. (not just tootsie rolls and hard candies) but tons of fun size candy bars.

These two were my favorite to watch  this year, they are just so adorable, and growing up too too quickly!

Dani got a lot of compliments on her Tangled hair and beautiful dress, and she ate it up!

After trick or treating down center street with Ashley and her boys, we headed to the airport to pick up Kory! I was so relieved to have him home, from the airport we went straight to trunk or treat at our church. I made jokes to neighbors and friends that "I could finally have this baby" and everyone shared in my relief that Kory had in fact made it home and didn't miss the delivery of our third baby.

After trunk or treating we went to my sisters house to enjoy some "Hallo-weenies" and hot cocoa. My kids love going to her house for any reason whatsoever.

After that we came home. Now here is where I should have put two and two together, I was dead tired, and exhausted, emotionally drained, and ready to put my heals up, snuggle up to my husband, and watch a movie then go to bed. But instead of just coming home, and letting things be taken care of tomorrow, I started cleaning out the car, I organized all of our costumes and cleaned the items that needed to be cleaned. Kory (who was extremely sleep deprived at this point) looked at me like a crazy person. He knew I was tired. I knew I was tired. Yet I couldn't help myself. RED FLAG 2

But despite the RED FLAGS I went to bed that night thinking I could get up in the morning and 1) go grocery shopping 2) clean my house 3) finish all my cute bibs, blankets and 4) plan singing time

2:30am I woke up with contraction pain, this happens periodically, so I got up to use the bathroom as it also makes me want to pee. 

I tried to go back to sleep, 3:00 am another one, this time I wasn't sure if it was stronger or just felt a little stronger because I was still up from the last one. 

4:00 am another one, at 4:32 I decided I better start timing them (telling myself to calm the crap down and it probably was a false alarm) they started coming on stronger and shorter 4:42, 4:48, 4:54, 5:01, 5:08, 5:13, 5:20, 5:26, 5:31, 5:37. They started to get really painful and I decided to call my Dr for his input. I felt terrible about waking Kory, it was his first night all week where he could sleep in past 5 am. 

After talking with the on call Dr, she advised me to come in and get checked. When I got off the phone with her I told Kory they wanted us to go in, we quickly made arrangements for our kids with a neighbor (bless her heart). 

After dropping the kids off and all that, we arrived at the hospital at 7am. My contractions were VERY painful, at least I felt like they were.

I can't imagine how I would have felt if they sent me home to have to go about my day with those kind of contractions, lucky for me they decided to let me stay, even though I was only dilated to a 4 (like with Dani) 

Before my epidural my contractions were more regular, but once my epidural was in and working, they slowed a bit, so the Dr decided to put me on pit and break my water, I have no idea at what time this was.

But by about 10:15 it was time to push. This is where it got kind of crazy. So after my Dr broke my water, I guess she (this was actually the first time I met her, she is probably the only one at the office I have not met yet or seen in all three of my pregnancies) anyway, she was called into an emergency c-section over at the other hospital (and I gotta say I was kinda relieved) just because I never met her before, and the Dr she called in to deliver me instead, I have seen with all three of my pregnancies, he knows me and Kory both well.

Anyway, so he left the office and rushed over to deliver Zeke, he got scrubbed in, ready to catch, we pushed through a contraction, and in storms the other Dr. Guns a blazing, totally put out asking "Didn't the receptionist tell you I was on my way?" 

So the other Doctor, said "uh no we didn't get that, but do you want to take over then?" I could sense that perhaps he was just saying that to be the bigger person. 

Her response "YEAH" so just like that they switched! A part of me was like, wait don't I have a say at all who gets to catch my baby?! So, just like that he switched with her, they had to move chairs and positions, and I was just like "WHAT THE CRAP?".

Because of this little escapade, I can't tell you how many times or how many contractions I pushed through, I just know it was more than with the other two, and if I had to guess I would say 5 contractions.

Somewhere in there, there was talk about him being posterior, but I guess he did a little flip-a-roo and delivered normally. Also, right after she broke my water, my epidural stopped working or dulled on my right side, and it HURT! Man I could never do without one, maybe it's my pitocin that makes my contractions so strong, but I think I would die. So they had to give me a fast acting dose, and it made me COMPLETELY numb which made it hard to feel if I was pushing and what muscles I was using.  But I am glad because I didn't want to feel it either. 

At 10:29 we gave it one last good push (the crowd was going wild with excitement, seriously it did feel like I had quite the audience, with two Dr's, three nurses, hilary, grandma, and Kory by my side) all shouting and encouraging me "HE HAS DARK HAIR" "AMY BREATH" "BEAR DOWN" (by the way, I have no idea what the crap it means to bear down) but eventually out he came! Beautifully pink, with dark black hair, and covered in cheese!

Meet ZEKE...

Ezekiel "Zeke" Jay Anderson 

Weighing in at 7 lbs 4 oz and 20" long

 It is always interesting to me how when you meet your baby for the first time, you instantly fall in love with them, how you have never before met them before, but when you see them for the first time it is as if you are reunited! It is an amazing feeling! Can't wait to do it again!

It's pretty cool that Kory has gotten to cut the chord with all our babies

Holding him for the first time...

My precious...

All cleaned up and swollen :) 

Meeting his sibs for the first time, and they are completely smitten by him! 

 Muah! 

 It's so fun that our kids are so into him, they are great helpers and love love him to pieces. Most loved baby ever.

 

Late nights at the hospital just me and my babe.

Gorgeous gorgeous flowers from FSI! Worth having a baby just to see these babies! 

Wrinkled toes and button nose! 

Love love the hospital gowns babies wear! 

 Cozy in his little bedside bassinet! 

Packing him up to bring him home! 

Love his little outfit Ashley brought to the hospital (cause she knew I hadn't had a chance to find one for him yet!) 

Here is the swaddle car seat blanket I made for him a day or so before he was born, it works like a charm and I LOVE having it for my winter baby! Best thing I have made for a baby to date. 

Sporting his little hat I made, I had intentions of sewing more of these different styles and colors but this is the only one I got to, I still think it is too adorable when I see it on him! 

It has been two months since I sat down and wrote this about him and I finally finished it today! He is such a good baby, and each day we get to know him a little more, and are excited to have him in our family! 

Cutting my losses....

To blog or not to blog, that is the question. The other day I was discussing with Kory how much I miss writing in my blog, how I wish I wasn't so behind on it and how it has been almost a year since I blogged!

He told me to "Cut your losses, and just move forward"...

So that is what I am going to do, maybe once I get back in the habit I will throw in a few catch up blogs here or there, but I kind of think people hate reading those as much as I do. No one wants to know what we did LAST year.

To sum it up...

Axel, Dani and I participated in a big pre-school co-op. It was FANTASTIC! Oh how I wish I would have blogged just so I can share with you everything we did in that group. It really helped that the other moms were super dedicated to help me a long the way. I think I learned more about myself than he did. Like I really like the idea of homeschooling my kids. I have so much say and influence on what they are learning and how they are learning it. 

Big dog

She got sick, really really sick, and that was a HARD winter for her, and all of us, and just as it was warming up we had to say good bye to one of our family pets. It was hard. Harder than I thought it would be on all of us. We miss her, and all of her quirks like crazy (yes, even I do, maybe not her hair so much)

Church Callings...

Kory got released from the Elders Quorum President and put back in as a deacons advisor...I was released as the sunbeam teacher and put in as our ward Primary Chorister. WHICH I LOVE! SO SO SO much, my love for music and the gospel has grown so much serving in this capacity, I mean I already love primary music, but I love studying the doctrine behind each song, and I will admit, I tear up sometimes (OK, a lot )

Axel is a sunbeam, it was a hard transition for him at first, he really struggled, but is doing so much better now. It melts my heart to get to watch him learn and grow in the gospel, and to see him sitting there with his arms crossed reverently wanting to answer a question or two.

Potty Training

They told me when I potty trained Axel that girls were WAY easier, and he was super duper easy, but I had no idea she would have been THAT easy! The girl started telling us at 15 months that she needed to go, so by 18 months she committed herself and just started using the potty. We didn't have to convince her, or buy her undies, or give her candy (that all came AFTER) She just did it. It was such a huge blessing!

Bun in the Oven

As some of you know from Kory's last post, we are expecting another baby! In fact we are almost done! I was extremely hesitant about getting pregnant again, in fact I made a list of things I wanted to get done before I went down the puking all day and night road again. After an amazing experience that is too personal to share on this blog, we decided it was time anyway, and all those things I was concerned about just got done. (See Potty Training above)

This pregnancy has had it's hard parts, extreme nausea, fatigue, but really it has also been such a joy. I just know this little spirit is meant to come to our family, and EVERYONE is so excited to meet him. Dani pulls up my shirt each day and tells him (not me) that she loves him and wants to feed him and rock him. She will then give him a kiss and a hug. So adorable. I like to think that when he kicks back to her it is because he is telling her he loves her too, and NOT that she is in his space. (In my perfect fantasy world I like to pretend that when he is born he will be our median, the kid that just gets a long so great with the other two, that no one will fight any more ha ha )

Axel, asks all sorts of questions about him, does the baby like milk? Can he have sugar? (side note he has recently started to realize that dad misses out on A LOT) He is really excited to have a baby brother, I know he will take a more active roll in his life than he did with Dani because he is older now.

Birthdays:

We all turned a year older and that was exciting :)

Remodeling:

Our blog wouldn't be the same with out a little Home Improvement section would it! After big dog, we decided to replace our bedroom floor, so now our entire house upstairs is carpet free.

With that we ALSO had the opportunity to put a bathroom in our basement, so we quickly JUMPED on that opportunity because it was either now or never! We are so thankful for everyone who came and helped us make it happen! Now our studio clients don't have to come upstairs to use the bathroom.

That's a simple update for now...

You Are My Calm, You Are My Crazy, You Are My Hope

YOU ARE MY CALM

There are two times in my life where I felt instantly different. The first being when I received the Melchizedek Priesthood and the other when I became a father. Becoming a Dad made the movie ‘Taken’ seem like a bare minimum.

Somewhere around 12 or 13 I developed insomnia. Over time it grew worse and worse. I hoped that with the strict regimen of mission life it would get better. Mostly I would still lie awake and still get up at 6:00 am. After my mission it got worse because I now had people that would hang out with me until 4am every night.

Then I got married and I had to get a permanent job and all that responsible stuff, blah blah blah. The day Axel was born was the first time I could just lay down and go to sleep. Ever since then I have had no problems falling asleep at night.

The romantic part of me likes to think that my body/mind/spirit or whatever, was just anxiously awaiting his arrival here on earth. Maybe it’s the tiredness that comes with being a dad, but honestly, Amy was up with him most nights. I only stepped in if feeding him didn’t work. Not to say I didn’t put in my time walking around the house or yard with him in the middle of the night every so often.

The other day, I thought to myself, this kid is my calm. We can just hang out without anything really on the agenda. Life is calmer when he’s around. Maybe it’s because I don’t worry about the future or the past because spending time with my family is the thing I’d rather be doing than anything else in the world. Maybe it’s because I don’t have to worry about his future because he is so genuine and smart and creative that the whole world seems possible to him. Whatever it is, I’m never more in the moment than when I spend time with my family.

I’m not saying we just sit and stare at the wall doing nothing all the time, but we could. And we’d be fine with that. But he has such an amazing imagination that it’s always exciting. He can create whatever he wants out of what’s around him. If he really wants to wear purple pants, he just imagines that his black pants are purple and he’s good to go.

I envy his creativity. Not only does he have a ridiculous ability to create things as accurately as you can with the things he has, but he also can imagine up the rest and describe it with such detail you can see it yourself. It takes me back to being a kid and reminds me how much we lose to ‘growing up’. While I chose to grow up to facilitate a stable environment for him to be a kid in, I appreciate him inviting me into his world regularly, no matter how tired I am.

I see the world differently now. I can see God’s plan for us more clearly as I can see His perspective now that I have the responsibility of trying to raise a kid and let him grow while guiding him towards being a good contributing human. I see more adventure in mundane tasks and even more excitement for kid stuff than I did when I was a kid.

Being a dad is the coolest thing I’ve ever done. Part of why I wanted to have kids was not only because I naturally gravitate towards children and love being around them, but because there didn’t seem to be enough good people out there. I thought I could have a kid and teach him to respect other people and how to lift other people around him. I find there’s a lot more to it than that, but I put all of my best self into my family, and hopefully that’s enough. He is a good kid. He is indiscriminate with who he plays with, and generally is kind, loving, and inviting to everyone. He’s ultra sensitive, but that I think will allow him to be a better friend down the road.

When he was born I was expecting it to be like an old friendship finally reunited and I would feel like we’ve known each other for forever. When he came flopping out into this world like an alien head with a body just dangling from it, one of my first thoughts was ‘I have no idea who this kid is’. He was his own little person. He wasn’t a blank slate, but a person who already had his own personality, preferences, and thoughts. The next thought after that was how excited I was to get to know him. There was no little person I was going to build from scratch. I was going to get to find out what he loves and thinks as he learned to express himself and as I learned how to understand those expressions.

This is my calm.

I love you kid. 

YOU ARE MY CRAZY

When Dani was born she looked exactly like her brother. I expected she’d be a little clone of him and that made it seem like raising her would be easier because we’ve done this before. I couldn’t have been more wrong. Dani was the exact opposite of what we were expecting. She and Axel are complete opposites. Even down to their appearance. He has blonde hair and dark brown eyes and chubby cheeks. Dani has dark hair and some of the brightest most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen, and she’s the tiniest person I know. She never stops moving. She doesn’t like to be touched. She doesn’t like help.

While she’s one of the most thoughtful little people I know, making sure everyone gets their fair share and including everyone in what she does, she’s got the energy of the sun wrapped in that little body. This puts me out of my comfort zone. She doesn’t let me sit on the couch when there is music on. It’s mandatory to dance. When there isn’t music on she generally asks me to turn some on for her. I realized just how much out of my comfort zone she puts me when some guy came around the corner at home depot in the kitchen section to Dani and I dancing. I was super embarrassed at first. Then I realized I would be embarrassed a million times over to see this little girl’s smile. Everything is exciting and full of life with her. I can’t slow down with her because I’m a sucker for her little voice asking me to join her in whatever she does.

She tires me out just watching her, but just watching is generally not an option with her. I love that she motivates me to be a little more crazy as I’ve grown passive in my old age.  We butt heads often as there are 4 bossy people in our house. She has to have things her way and will do it by herself no matter what you say. I constantly find her stuck in places because she wanted something and didn’t want to ask because she knew what the answer would be.

Dani keeps things moving at our house and keeps me more active than I want to be. She is just as compassionate as she is active and she can be the sweetest girl you’ve ever seen. When Big Dog was in her last few weeks, Dani would hand feed her dinner and breakfast on the days that she didn’t have the strength to stand there and eat. She would change her whole demeanor and sit with Big Dog when she knew she was struggling. She does this for everyone. She asks if you’re ok if you look sad or hurt.

I’m not looking forward to the day when I’m not one of her favorite people, because she’ll always be one of mine. Or the day when she doesn’t think I’ll understand what she’s going through because I’m her dad, and dad’s don’t get that kind of stuff. For now, she’s the last person I see as she waves to me on my way to work, and the first person to greet me when I get home from work.

I love that, and I love you little girl.

YOU ARE MY HOPE

This new kid is not easy on Amy’s body. She has to work really hard to keep both of them healthy. Waiting for a baby is an awesome time. You get to wonder about what he’ll be like. You wonder how he’ll fit into your family and how your kids are going to react to them. Will he be a musician, will he be smart? What will his challenges be? Some of these answers come quickly, and some of them I’ll have to wait a long time for.

With this new kid on the way, I feel hope. We felt strongly about having another baby. We both knew it was time and had distinct impressions about it. I don’t worry about how much it’s going to cost or about having another mouth to feed because our family follows Heavenly Father very closely, and if He gave his blessing and told us this was right for our family, He’s not going to set us up to fail. We do our best to do what’s right and the rest is out of our control anyway. Not that bad things don’t happen to good people, but whatever happens, I have faith that that is where we are supposed to be.

I feel hope because I get to invite someone into our lives that’s guaranteed to be someone I love with my whole self. It’s kind of cool that way. You never know who you’re going to meet in your life, what friends you’ll make, and how they’ll affect your life. But this instance, No matter what, I will love this kid very literally unconditionally in a way that’s inexplicable to people that don’t have kids.

I feel hope because there is one more person in the world I will do my very best to help teach to love those around him regardless of their demographics. To be someone who could teach others that they are loved by someone and to find hope in their lives.

I have big hopes for my kids. One’s that I probably won’t hear about or see very often, if ever. I hope there will be instances in my life where I will see what kind of person they are and know that they have these qualities. I have seen it already in Dani and Axel, and hope they continue to develop this part of them, and the new kid will also find these parts of himself.

I am excited to have you in our lives.

If you made it this far congratulations. Sorry for the cheese but I felt very compelled to write this and put it out there into the universe. 

Happy Mother's Day Amy!

This isn’t really my thing, but it needs to be said, so here it goes.

My affinity for Amy started when I ‘re-met’ her at Training Table. We were talking and I said something with my usual amazing sense of humor and she looked at me with these eyes that emanated this excitement for life that caught me off guard. So much so, that I think about that moment often.

That lead to this that the other and bam! We’re parents. Growing up I assumed being the parent of small kids was just playing all day and teaching them to say funny things. It turns out that that is only a smaller part of the deal.

Amy sacrifices a lot for our family. I thought that this was a good place to post this since every other post on here shows just how much she does for our kids. While I partially joke about how easy she made it seem to have a baby, she was made for having/raising kids.

Dani gives me an inventory of everything that happens every day when I get home. I’m always amazed at how much they do and learn.

She teaches pre-school every couple weeks, teaches singing time in church, and all the kids seem to gravitate towards her, and love everything she does.

Lest you think I’m missing the point of Motherhood, I know it’s not about how much you can do in a day, or how crafty you are. I point out these things because it’s time she spends with our kids doing things that will help them learn to be better people. She puts most, if not all of her time into things that are for the family rather than herself.

I can spend all day on the things she does, but I’m most proud of who she is. She is selfless and loving. She’s a natural teacher and the best mother I could hope for for our kids.

Most people know I would be lost without her, not only because the kids and I would probably starve if she were gone, and most of the important things wouldn’t get done, but because she is my sure-foot in life. She inspires me and supports me, she is always there and willing to help, when I’m willing to put my stubbornness aside. She’s smart and creative in ways I don’t understand.

These words are inadequate, but I love you Amy. Happy mother’s day. 

Fall Walk

One of my FAVORITE things about living in Utah in the fall is the Provo Canyon! It is so full of such beauty!

My friend Ashley and I, have been visiting the canyon for years now, in our single days we would rollerblade down the long trail on the warm fall nights, or go up and study in the parks. That's right I said ROLLERBLADE. :)

Now we have babies and we still love going up there each fall to enjoy all the colors of the trees, and to appreciate nature one last time before it takes a long winters nap. We love teaching our little ones about the changing leaves. There really is NO better place to witness this but the Provo Canyon.


I will admit, it was a LONG walk for me. My ankle was still sore from my sprang from our trip, and it was hotter than we anticipated that day, so we were all dressed warmly...Bad planning on my part.

My kids fought the whole way up. We had to take A LOT of breaks to look at leaves, and to let the boys walk. So that added to our time exponentially! And it took us a LONG time to get to the falls. 

Me and my kiddos

But the kids LOVED getting to Bridal Veil Falls 

We let the kids play in the dirty stream along the side of the trail. By we, I mean I did, and so Ashley's kids wanted to too. Such bad examples, sorry again ash :(

 But they sure had fun! 

Nixon and Dani were sorta matching in there striped shirts.